Ibiza
People take pills in Ibiza because the alcohol is too damn expensive.
After ten days in Paris, I boarded a direct flight on AirFrance from CDG to IBZ. I was hungover, had a middle seat, and slept the entire time.
When I got to IBZ, to no surprise, my bag didn’t make it. According to my TikTok feed, AirFrance was notorious that summer for losing luggage. I jumped in a taxi and paid 15 euros for the driver to take me about 5 minutes to Ushuaïa Ibiza Beach Hotel.
There I met my friend Phil, who had balled out on a room for his birthday after receiving his bonus and promotion to manager. I was there for funsies and to pay for food and drinks, since I could not afford to split the room on my marketing salary. We stayed on the quieter side on Ushuaïa Tower, whereas the rooms around the connected Ushuaïa Club were more for groups and bachelor parties.
Our room included all the Ushuaïa shows and our first night was Phil’s favorite group, Swedish House Mafia. I went up to the drink stand to get a round, and was floored by the 22 euro price of my vodka soda. I thought living in New York had made me numb to high prices, the other highest drink prices I’ve experienced being in Montauk. But Ibiza clubs take the cake.
I figured my luggage would arrive the next day and was proud of my airport fit because it was good to go from the airport to the club. Satin traveler pants, Bershka shirt, and SET bra underneath.
The next day we went to the nearest store and bought a 6 euro swimsuit for me and aloe for Phil. I was mostly in the shade lounging as I was working, but Italian-ass Phil wanted to get a base burn while the UV was 10 (hence the aloe).
We met a dream couple that we ended up hanging out with poolside all week. The woman’s name with Beth, and she owned both a club in Sudbury and a beauty salon in Hitchin. She was hot, her partner was hot, and I still follow her on Instagram.
Monday night was David Guetta and Purple Disco Machine, the group I was most excited for after seeing them in New York that April for our friend Diavee’s birthday. Phil called it early due to jet lag, but we met two guys from Nashville that adopted me and took me to Hï across the street after the show. Cover was 70 euros. I let them buy me drinks inside.
We stayed out until the club closed, which was 6am. Couldn’t tell you everyone we saw, but I know Alok was in there somewhere. The Nashville guys went straight to the airport from the club (a move we regretfully adopted later that week) and I ran straight to the beach. I watched the sunrise, took my pants off, jumped in the warm water, and got carried out by a security guard about ten minutes later.
By Wednesday my luggage still hadn’t arrived, so I bought an outfit on the strip. That night Phil wanted to see FISHER at Hï, so naturally we stayed out until 6am and I showed him the beach sunrise.
My luggage still hadn’t arrived, so this fit is 100% Ibiza.
Also note the Gaudí tile!
After dinner Thursday night, my bag finally made it to the Island. I excitedly changed my clothes and we went to see Martix Garrix. We were absolutely exhausted after that and called it an early night.
Each day we had meant to go to the Old Town in Ibiza or explore the other side of the island, but we were pieces of garbage and did not leave our 5-star enclosure. If you go, definitely make sunset dinner reservations at Café Mambo or another restaurant in Sant Antoni. We also wanted to see a cabaret show at Lío Ibiza, but by the time we heard about it all the reservations were booked out.
Our last night was Calvin Harris at Ushuaïa and Idris Elba at Hï. David Guetta was in the main room, but I was 100% there for Idris. I ended up FaceTiming our new friend Beth as she was obsessed with him, she answered as she was putting her kids to bed. I had one last morning with the beach sunrise, then I headed to the room to grab my bag for checkout.
I don’t recommend doing this!
From IBZ I went to BCN, waited around for a few hours, napped in a chair, and boarded a flight to Istanbul.
I booked my flights separately, researching departures from both Madrid and Barcelona. It took some research, it benefitted me around $500 to book two separate one ways instead of trying to find connecting flights on a travel website.
Unfortunately, my total travel was from 8am in Ibiza to 2am in Istanbul - note that I was up since 11am that Friday through 2am Sunday, aside from one chair nap. Read my next post for how the hell that went. 🫠
